Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Randomize
