i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
