If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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