i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
