the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
