What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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