I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
