the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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