im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
