I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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