im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
