I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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