Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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