I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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