I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
