why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
