Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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