The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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