I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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