i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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