I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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