She said her name was "party"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
