my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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