At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The air taste purple.
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