Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
