Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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