I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
