We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
