How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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