You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
