im drinking this country out of the recession.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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