There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
