But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
