I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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