remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She bit a glass in half.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize