Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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