I'm lost and stupid without you.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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