the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
