last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
