Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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