Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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