People with herpes should wear stickers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
