I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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