Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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