im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I supernannyed him into submission
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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