drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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