I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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