No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
