No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
