I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
