Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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