no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Randomize
