you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
