me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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