i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
