My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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