there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
