Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
