I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
