So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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