Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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