working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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