I just cut my nipple shaving
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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