my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just gift wrapped bread.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize