ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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